last night i was running errands and that green day song that's all like, 'wake me up when september ends' came on, and in my head i changed the month to february, and then i was all, 'green day gets me.'
i have no idea what that song is about. but i do know one thing: green day doesn't get me. i think the mental fog that comes with february left me temporarily dysfunctional to think they might. to further prove that i'm running on half a cylinder, i listened to almost that whole song without changing the station. who am i and what is wrong with me?
if i could shoot february in the face, i would. the only commercials on the radio are about how everyone knows the best valentine's day is spent getting diamonds and going to bon jovi concerts. there is so much candy at the store - so. much. candy. - and whoever made valentine's day a candy holiday did so because they know no one has self-control in february. we all look and feel like we're knocking on death's door; what's another four pounds of m&ms down the old gullet? and the weather... oh my word. i'd rather get smashed in the face with a red-hot iron like that burglar in 'home alone' than go outside. or stay inside. they're both the worst.
and lastly, february is all like, 'spring is just around the corner! be happy and excited and maybe change out of those sweatpants you've been wearing since november! spring is springing!... oh yeah, in two months. gotcha, loser.' that's why i hate february the most. because it is a dirty rotten liar and, frankly, i'm pretty sure it's a son of the devil.
anyway. all that to say, i hate february. in case you didn't gather that. may your friday be merry and bright.